While visiting my old high school, one of my favorite teachers told me about a book I should read. I had just told him about my last journalism assignment, which was investigating stories that the media handled wrong. My teacher told me about Dave Cullen's Columbine. Columbine, is about exactly what one would presume: the massacre at Columbine High School in 1999. There are few people in the United States that do not know about Columbine, especially in light of the recent school shooting, but few people actually know the true story. Cullen is the nation's foremost authority on Columbine and the primary objective of his narrative is to debunk the falsehoods fueled by the media.
The first and most widely known misconception about the shooting was that the two killers, Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, were seeking revenge against the jock population at the high school for years of bullying. The truth is the boys' true intentions were to blow up the whole school, randomly killing as many people as possible. Eric, the mastermind of the plan, wanted to rival the death tolls at the, then recent, Oklahoma City Bombing, a fifty-one day standoff turned massacre at Branch Davidian compound in Waco Texas.
Both boys suffered from a god-complex brand of superiority, and depression. It was their goal to rid the world of stupid, stuck up, inferior people through their own form of natural selection. The most striking thing about the boys is despite their previous encounters with the law, no one put the pieces together in time to stop the massacre. The only reason the death toll was not higher was because the bombs meant to blow in the cafeteria malfunctioned and never went off. When the two boys realized that they immediately dropped the rest of the plan and went on a shooting rampage. To see their "mission" fulfilled, the boys sacrificed their lives. In his attempt to uncover the true motive and personalities of Eric and Dylan, Cullen writes of FBI agent and psychiatrist, Dwayne Fuselier's journey into the lives of Eric and Dylan, including interviews of friends and family, journals and the well kept secret of the "Basement Tapes" -- the videos that Eric and Dylan left that mapped out their plan and motive.
There was another media misconception regarding the martyrdom of Cassie Bernall. Years ago, I read the book She Said Yes: The Unlikely Martyrdom of Cassie Bernall. I learned how, in the face of death, she told Eric that she believed in God, securing her fate. I was shocked to read today that the story is not true. Most of She Said Yes is about Cassie's battle and victory with her own demons, but it was not Cassie who told Eric she believed in God that day in the library. It was actually Valeen Schnurr. The account is as follows: Valeen Schnurr was shot multiple times. She dropped to her knees pleading for God to save her. Upon hearing her plead, Dylan turned around and asked her if she believed in God. She answered yes. Before Dylan could shoot her, he became distracted and walked off, leaving Valeen alive.
The discrepancies between the two stories, of course, are the results of post traumatic stress, but instead of researching the accounts more thoroughly, the media took the story of Cassie and ran. Emily Wyant, who watched as Eric shot Cassie, told police that Cassie had no time to speak, nor did Eric. There were accounts like Emily's stating that Cassie was not the one who said yes, but there were also accounts from other students of just the opposite. One of these accounts was from Craig Scott. Craig believed that Cassie had said yes, but when he was brought into the library, police told him that Cassie was not found in the spot he believed she had been. Craig believed his story whole heartedly. Learning the truth proved to be too much for Craig, who fell sick as a result and had to leave the library.
Cullen investigates all aspects of the Columbine massacre, and subsequently revealed more misconceptions America was fed during the days after the tragedy. Stories of Dave Sanders, a teacher who sacrificed his life alerting students to the tragedy despite being shot, stories of Patrick Ireland, who the media deemed "The boy in the window," and stories of countless others bring to life the truth of what happened at Columbine.
Patrick Ireland's story touched me the most because of his sheer drive to live. After being left in the library to die from a shot in the head that disconnected communication from his brain and body, Patrick proceeded to move his half paralyzed body to the window. SWAT was able to get to Patrick before he pushed himself out of the second story window and he was immediately taken to the hospital. If that wasn't terrifying enough, Patrick spent a week in the ICU unaware of the extent of his injuries or the tragedy. All Patrick wanted to do was continue his life and complete his goals.
Though he speaks of his disappointment of media portrayal of the tragedy, Cullen commends The Rocking Mountain News and its ethical journalism. I could continue on to tell about the whole book, but this is definitely a book everyone needs to read. I urge those who remember Columbine and even those who do not to pick up Cullen's book, you will not be sorry. Columbine was more than a news headline, it was a tragedy that shook a little town in Colorado. Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, were not only ruthless killers, they were teenagers that did not receive the help they needed. Columbine will not only help you understand the killers, learn about faulty journalism and hear the stories of the victims, but it will also cause you to think about what needs to be done in the criminal justice system and mental health system to prevent mass shootings like Columbine.
Here are the two quotes Cullen opens his narrative with for you to ponder...
"I am a wicked man... But do you know, gentlemen, what was the main point of my wickedness? The whole thing, precisely was, the greatest nastiness precisely lay in my being shamefully conscious every moment, even in moments of the greatest bile, that I was not only a wicked man but was even an embittered man, that I was simply frightening sparrow in vain and pleasing myself with it." - Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from the Underground
"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places." - Ernest Hemmingway, A Farewell to Arms
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Lincoln's Melancholy
As someone who is fascinated both by history and psychological illnesses, naturally, when deciding what book I would read, I chose Joshua Wolf Shenk's Lincoln's Melancholy: How Depression Challenged a President and Fueled His Greatness. Before I even began reading, I was well aware of the connection between psychological illnesses and some of the great talents of all time. Painter Georgia O'Keefe was manic-depressive (more commonly known as bi-polar disorder now). Manic-depression refers to a person who suffers not only from depressive states but also intense states of high energy, which reach the point of mania.Van Gogh was suspected to have episodes of both depression and manic- depression; poetic Emily Dickinson was severely depressed. Abraham Lincoln also suffered from depression. It was not until recently that scholars began to research Lincoln's depression more in depth. Shenk's book is one of the most recent books dedicated solely to documenting Lincoln's depression.
In the end depression, as with Lincoln and many others, fuels the fire for greatness. It is believed that depression motivates one to pursue projects. Staying busy stops one from dwelling on their failures and depression. The worst thing for someone with depression is to be isolated and ruminating over the pessimistic thoughts they have. Instead of letting the depressive moods take over, someone with depression can find true strength in using the so called "defect" to inspire greatness.
Connecting the creative process with mental illnesses has been a recent endeavor. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi attributes the distinguishing factor of creative people to their complexity. These people seem to have thoughts that would not connect for a majority of people. They often have conflicting personality traits such as self-doubt and confidence, aggressive and cooperative, creating the psychological phenomenon called cognitive dissonance.
Psychiatrist, Kay Redfield Jamison, offers another view of the complexity of the creative person. Jamison writes that there is a great deal of evidence to support the fact that writers, artists and creative people score higher in measures of psychopathology, making them psychologically "sicker" than most individuals, but these same people also score high on confidence and ego stability proving that they might also be psychological healthier than most individuals.
The common belief today is that people in positions of strength never waver or doubt themselves, which could not be further from the truth. As shown with Lincoln, the inclination to see and prepare for the worst in people or events gives an advantage.
Psychiatrist George Vaillant's theory of the bedrock of character states that character comes not by good fortune, but by how people deal with problems. Vaillant identified habitual adaptations and defense mechanisms people use in facing problems. He writes, "If we use defenses well we are deemed mentally healthy, conscientious, funny, creative and altruistic. If we use them badly, the psychiatrist diagnoses us ill, our neighbors label us unpleasant and society brands us immoral." I find it interesting that a healthy person not only uses humor, altruism--placing other's needs above one's own needs--, anticipation for the future and sublimation--channeling one's energies toward another passion such as art or a project--, but a health person uses suppression. Personally, I was always told it was bad to suppress anything, but, for Vaillant, suppression is different and much better than denial because it is a selective action to remove oppressive stimuli.
Advice passed down through the ages has been for one to know thyself. It seems that the more you are comfortable and familiar with your own personality the easier it is to live, love others and even achieve. Lincoln, as Shenk states, "understood himself to be one whose heart was uncommonly affected by the pain of life. He had often found himself fearing the pain would never end. He had learned from severe experience that suffering had to be acknowledged and tolerated and that it might with patience lead to something that could not be known without it." I believe it was because of this belief in himself and the belief that suffering lead to wisdom that Lincoln dared to be vulnerable in his emotions around others no matter the consequences.
The brilliance of Shenk's exploration into Lincoln's melancholy's lies not in the historical context of the story, but the connection between the realities of depression and the inspiration a story such as Lincoln's can produce. In the epilogue, Shenk writes about his experiences while researching the book. Surrounded by a convention of men dressed as Lincoln himself in West Virginia at the Association of Lincoln Presenters annual event, Shenk began an insightful conversation with one of the Lincolns, Cranston "Bud" Green. After telling Bud of his book on Lincoln's melancholy, Bud so vulnerably told him about his own struggles with depression. My point in including this story is the same as Shenk's. By studying others, especially those similar to one in personality and temperament, one discovers ways to take on life. As Bud illustrates when he answers "yes" when asked if dressing up as Lincoln helps his depression, learning about others helps us find meaning in our own ordinary lives. Learning of another's courage to be vulnerable allows one to be vulnerable, gives one the courage to ask for help or tell one's story. Wisdom is not only accomplished through living life, but also through learning from another's experiences. "And even in our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God above. " - Aeschylus
Shenk begins by documenting what psychologists define as depression. The most striking aspect of Shenk's description of depression is how he equates depression to more commonplace ailments. He states that depression is not like the flu or a cold, but more like a chronic illness such as hypertension or asthma. Like someone with these two illnesses, a person with chronic major depression has it throughout life. That is not to say that the person does not experience joy or happiness but there is always a looming possibility of a depressive episode. Major depression is defined as a period of sadness for more than two weeks that include symptoms like excessive sleeping or insomnia, over or under-eating, loss of interest in activities once enjoyed and isolation from one's family and friends. For one to be diagnosed with chronic depression one has to have had two or more episodes of depression during a life span. These episodes have to be weeks to months apart and have to last for at least two weeks.
Mental illness during the 1800s was not socially acceptable or studied. There were few insane asylums and the mentally ill were left to fend for themselves or stay with family. Depression was not an illness recognized during Lincoln's life; however, chronic sadness was addressed with the title "melancholy."There is evidence in Lincoln's own writings and the statements of close friends that he suffered from two major episodes of depression; one episode caused his friends to begin a suicide watch.
Chronic sadness became a prominent part of his personality. As with most people dealing with depression, Lincoln found ways to alleviate his depressive moods, if only for a little bit. Lincoln's self medication was the telling of humorous stories. Most people who knew Lincoln or saw him in person characterized his face as pensive and one full of gloom.
Chronic sadness became a prominent part of his personality. As with most people dealing with depression, Lincoln found ways to alleviate his depressive moods, if only for a little bit. Lincoln's self medication was the telling of humorous stories. Most people who knew Lincoln or saw him in person characterized his face as pensive and one full of gloom.
Ideas of depression during Lincoln's time and today are totally different. During Lincoln's life, melancholy was seen, somewhat, as a strength not a hindrance. Melancholy allowed one to see the world in a more cautious way. Today it is more common for one with depression to seem weak. Depression is seen as something that needs to be cured in order to be happy. Happiness becomes the only way to have a good life. It is not often that people today see the wisdom that can grow from depression. Lincoln often used the quote from an old parable of an Eastern monarch, "And this too shall pass away," to remind himself and others of the necessity to look to the future, not to the past or the failures of the present. Hoping that pain would subside and the greatness of a great leader continue, Lincoln added his own ending to the quote, "And yet let us hope it is not quite true." Lincoln never wanted the intellectual and moral convictions of a leader to pass, but hoped for the sweetness of better times that would someday come.
Victor Frankl would label Lincoln a "tragic optimist," one who looks for meaning in the tragedies of life. Frankl states that life involves three inevitable kinds of tragedy, the "tragic triad:"- Pain and suffering,
- Guilt, because we are free to make choices in our lives, and are responsible for the impact of those choices, and
- Death, and knowing that our life is transient.
He says that it is hard to find meaning in the face of such tragedy, but that if we do not, then our sense of meaninglessness lies behind our experiences of:
- Depression,
- Aggression, and
- Addiction.
He continues by citing three ways to find meaning in life:
- Through our work or deeds,
- Through experiences or encounters with other people (e.g. love), and
- Through rising above, and growing from, the inevitable suffering which we will experience.
Frankl suggests three ways to find meaning in all three tragedies:
- Pain and suffering – from learning from the experience and finding meaning in it,
- Guilt – by taking responsibility for our actions, and
- Death – by living our life as if it was for the second time, knowing how we got it wrong the first time.
In the end depression, as with Lincoln and many others, fuels the fire for greatness. It is believed that depression motivates one to pursue projects. Staying busy stops one from dwelling on their failures and depression. The worst thing for someone with depression is to be isolated and ruminating over the pessimistic thoughts they have. Instead of letting the depressive moods take over, someone with depression can find true strength in using the so called "defect" to inspire greatness.
Connecting the creative process with mental illnesses has been a recent endeavor. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi attributes the distinguishing factor of creative people to their complexity. These people seem to have thoughts that would not connect for a majority of people. They often have conflicting personality traits such as self-doubt and confidence, aggressive and cooperative, creating the psychological phenomenon called cognitive dissonance.
Psychiatrist, Kay Redfield Jamison, offers another view of the complexity of the creative person. Jamison writes that there is a great deal of evidence to support the fact that writers, artists and creative people score higher in measures of psychopathology, making them psychologically "sicker" than most individuals, but these same people also score high on confidence and ego stability proving that they might also be psychological healthier than most individuals.
The common belief today is that people in positions of strength never waver or doubt themselves, which could not be further from the truth. As shown with Lincoln, the inclination to see and prepare for the worst in people or events gives an advantage.
Psychiatrist George Vaillant's theory of the bedrock of character states that character comes not by good fortune, but by how people deal with problems. Vaillant identified habitual adaptations and defense mechanisms people use in facing problems. He writes, "If we use defenses well we are deemed mentally healthy, conscientious, funny, creative and altruistic. If we use them badly, the psychiatrist diagnoses us ill, our neighbors label us unpleasant and society brands us immoral." I find it interesting that a healthy person not only uses humor, altruism--placing other's needs above one's own needs--, anticipation for the future and sublimation--channeling one's energies toward another passion such as art or a project--, but a health person uses suppression. Personally, I was always told it was bad to suppress anything, but, for Vaillant, suppression is different and much better than denial because it is a selective action to remove oppressive stimuli.
Advice passed down through the ages has been for one to know thyself. It seems that the more you are comfortable and familiar with your own personality the easier it is to live, love others and even achieve. Lincoln, as Shenk states, "understood himself to be one whose heart was uncommonly affected by the pain of life. He had often found himself fearing the pain would never end. He had learned from severe experience that suffering had to be acknowledged and tolerated and that it might with patience lead to something that could not be known without it." I believe it was because of this belief in himself and the belief that suffering lead to wisdom that Lincoln dared to be vulnerable in his emotions around others no matter the consequences.
The brilliance of Shenk's exploration into Lincoln's melancholy's lies not in the historical context of the story, but the connection between the realities of depression and the inspiration a story such as Lincoln's can produce. In the epilogue, Shenk writes about his experiences while researching the book. Surrounded by a convention of men dressed as Lincoln himself in West Virginia at the Association of Lincoln Presenters annual event, Shenk began an insightful conversation with one of the Lincolns, Cranston "Bud" Green. After telling Bud of his book on Lincoln's melancholy, Bud so vulnerably told him about his own struggles with depression. My point in including this story is the same as Shenk's. By studying others, especially those similar to one in personality and temperament, one discovers ways to take on life. As Bud illustrates when he answers "yes" when asked if dressing up as Lincoln helps his depression, learning about others helps us find meaning in our own ordinary lives. Learning of another's courage to be vulnerable allows one to be vulnerable, gives one the courage to ask for help or tell one's story. Wisdom is not only accomplished through living life, but also through learning from another's experiences. "And even in our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God above. " - Aeschylus
Friday, December 14, 2012
Connecticut Elementary
As millions of Americans did today, I watched as the story of the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting unfolded. Watching World News with Diane Sawyer, I saw this video of a Kaitlin Roig, a brave teacher at the school. Her bravery was inspiring, so inspiring and heartbreaking I wanted to pass it along for others to see. My heart goes out to all the families. "The healthy man does not torture others - generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers." - Carl Jung
The Humanity of All Animals
Have you ever wanted to be a chimpanzee? Watching the movie Chimpanzee by Disney, makes me wonder what it would be like to be one. Following a baby chimp named Oscar, the movie shows the life of a family. Imagine being able to climb the tallest trees and swinging at will. Oscar is so tiny he can easily swing himself onto his mother's back for a ride. The inner workings of a chimp was first researched by Jane Goodall. I remember watching a 60 Minutes story about how she was able to live with them and become somewhat of a surrogate mother. I have a fascination with animals, and if it was not for my hate for biology and other sciences I would have become a zoologist or vet. I would love to be able to work with chimps, orangutans, elephants, tiger, lions, any animal. My dream is to go to Africa to cover a story for National Geographic.
The movie explores the rivalry amongst the male in the family. I first discovered the volatile nature of these animals when reading, Zoo Story by Thomas French. In the zoo a younger chimp attacks a beloved older chimp to become the alpha male of the zoo, almost killing him. The book taught me tremendously new things about animal not only about Chimps but elephants, tigers and more. Like Zoo Story, Chimpanzees, provides so many new lessons, like how chimps eat monkeys when food is low. Despite my knowledge of the circle of life and being a carnivore myself, whenever I see another animal or a human kill an animal it breaks my heart. I climb into cages at work to calm a scared dog down or just provide company. Because of this compassion, watching Oscar search for his mother, unaware of her death, makes me want to hold him, makes me want to become his surrogate mother like Jane Goodall once did.
Animals have such freedom. There are utterly fascinating. It is easy to see the humanity in all animals. Seeing the suffering of animals sparks a protectiveness in me. I once became so angry I threw a highlighter at my roommate because instead of symbolically adopting a panda from World Wildlife Fund, she wanted me to get her a real panda. That night I was entranced by the stories of endangered animals on the website. Images of skin, the only thing left of a dead elephant are ingrained in my mind. To this day, people still kill elephants for ivory. Did you know when elephants are attacked they are able to make a deep call only other elephants can here to warn others miles away not to come near?
As I think about my future, I am more and more drawn to working with animals with my journalism degree. I hope to work at National Geographic, World Wildlife Fund or National Wildlife Federation. There are so many endangered animals in the world and we, as humans, need to help keep these animals around. Whether it be polar bears and global warming or the senseless killing of exotic animals for human greed, animals need protection. In my attempt to bring awareness to the world, I will be starting to write more about different animal stories and the links between all animals. If you have not seen the movie Chimpanzee I highly suggest it. There is nothing cuter than watching Oscar try to open a nut with a stick - perplexed as to why the stick will not hit the nut. See the humanity in his eyes when he is all alone. Find an appreciation for the other truly amazing animals on this planet.
The movie explores the rivalry amongst the male in the family. I first discovered the volatile nature of these animals when reading, Zoo Story by Thomas French. In the zoo a younger chimp attacks a beloved older chimp to become the alpha male of the zoo, almost killing him. The book taught me tremendously new things about animal not only about Chimps but elephants, tigers and more. Like Zoo Story, Chimpanzees, provides so many new lessons, like how chimps eat monkeys when food is low. Despite my knowledge of the circle of life and being a carnivore myself, whenever I see another animal or a human kill an animal it breaks my heart. I climb into cages at work to calm a scared dog down or just provide company. Because of this compassion, watching Oscar search for his mother, unaware of her death, makes me want to hold him, makes me want to become his surrogate mother like Jane Goodall once did.
Animals have such freedom. There are utterly fascinating. It is easy to see the humanity in all animals. Seeing the suffering of animals sparks a protectiveness in me. I once became so angry I threw a highlighter at my roommate because instead of symbolically adopting a panda from World Wildlife Fund, she wanted me to get her a real panda. That night I was entranced by the stories of endangered animals on the website. Images of skin, the only thing left of a dead elephant are ingrained in my mind. To this day, people still kill elephants for ivory. Did you know when elephants are attacked they are able to make a deep call only other elephants can here to warn others miles away not to come near?
As I think about my future, I am more and more drawn to working with animals with my journalism degree. I hope to work at National Geographic, World Wildlife Fund or National Wildlife Federation. There are so many endangered animals in the world and we, as humans, need to help keep these animals around. Whether it be polar bears and global warming or the senseless killing of exotic animals for human greed, animals need protection. In my attempt to bring awareness to the world, I will be starting to write more about different animal stories and the links between all animals. If you have not seen the movie Chimpanzee I highly suggest it. There is nothing cuter than watching Oscar try to open a nut with a stick - perplexed as to why the stick will not hit the nut. See the humanity in his eyes when he is all alone. Find an appreciation for the other truly amazing animals on this planet.
I believe in exactly what Jane Goodall said, The least I can do is speak out for those who cannot speak for themselves." Finishing my "into" into animals I so deeply love, I leave you with another quote by Jane Goodall to ponder upon, "And if we dare to look into those eyes, then we shall feel their suffering in our hearts. More and more people have seen that appeal and felt it in their hearts. All around the world there is an awakening of understanding and compassion, and understanding that reaches out to help the suffering animals in their vanishing homelands. That embraces hungry, sick and desperate human beings, people who are one starving while the fortunate among us have so much more than we need. And if, one by one, we help the, m the hurting animals, the desperate humans, then together we shall alleviate so much of the hunger, fear and pain in the world. Together we can bring change to the world, gradually replacing fear and hatred with compassion and love. Love for all living beings."
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