Paralyzed

Journalism is the practice of storytelling. What draws me to become a journalist is to tell the stories of those people who cannot tell their own. But more importantly, it is the human connection. Intimacy with another individual provides a sense of comfort. It seems as though, I continue to return to human emotions but what other thing is as universal as that? Empathy is defined as: noun. the ability to understand and share the feeling of another. The simple definition does no justice to what empathy truly means. To someone who felt misunderstood his or her entire life, empathy can be a saving gesture. Some people in life have a capacity to love and empathize more than anyone can ever imagine. It is these people who carry everyone's hopes, dreams, agonies and defeats on their shoulders, on their souls. My journalistic hope is to be able to help others feel understood. I want to lift as much of the burden as I can from those suffering.

Have you ever been unable to speak? Unable to say what you mean? It's like you are moving your lips but you hear no noise. This can be one of the most frustrating things to experience. Your mind continues to ruminate over whatever you can't say. The problem is not the inability to process the information. The problem is commanding the right words to make others understand. If one has to constantly explain and dissect to others what he or she is trying to say the person loses the will to talk. The exhaustion from having to simplify and resimplify paralyzes any desire to speak. This paralyzing feeling takes over. It affects your whole life, no matter what you do. Often what we do not want to face during the day haunts us at night. This paralysis transform into nightmares, the kind that wakes you in the night in a cold sweat. Those dreams that do not allow you to go to bed, out of fear that you will immediately fall into that horrible world. The fear paralyzes you. Before you know it, the numbness sets into every aspect of your life. You lose the desire, the strength to fight. Days are all the same blurring together as you walk around like a zombie. It is easy to spot the zombie.  As simple as looking to their eyes. They sit, clutching their knees wishing you would see the pain because they are at a loss for words, so they keep to themselves. They carry the burden by themselves. The secrets linger in their favorite songs:

I try to laugh but cry instead, patiently wait to hear the words you never said. Keeping everything inside. Close my eyes and listen to you cry. This is not goodbye she said, it is just time for me to rest my head. She does not walk she runs instead, down these jagged streets and into my bed. 

Must get Out - Maroon 5

As a society, as humans, we don't want to think or talk about uncomfortable things. My high school history teacher often use to say afflict the comforted and comfort the afflicted. It ties into this belief in what other cultures believe is what needs to happen to grow up. To grow up a child needs to be afflicted, needs to experience some kind of pain or hardship. In the world it seems that the afflicted never get a break from their suffering and the comforted never actually grow up.  If this world is to become a better place, if humans are to care for one another as they look out for themselves, than it requires talking about things that make us uncomfortable.

"Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others thinks is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible." - Cadet Maxim

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all which have the potential to turn a life around..." - Leo Buscaglia